The Birthday Party
Though clearly recongnizing that for a Catholic who forms his conscience according to the Church, there is only one choice for us to make when we go to the polls or fill out our mail-in ballots this year, and with great hope that Romney-Ryan can lead our nation in goodness, I nonetheless proceed as follows.
Today the political landscape is changing with the launching of a new political party. We are not a 3rd Party, something inferior to two established parties. We are the Party, while the establishment’s are secondary to us.
We are wasting no time – not only are we born today, but we are also holding our first convention: The BPIC (the Birthday Party International Convention). Ours is international because TBP transcends national borders and is inclusive of all people, each one considered our brother or sister because each is a child of God, from the newly conceived to the oldest person on the face of the earth.
Our symbols are two birds: the stork and the pelican. The stork for well-known reasons and the pelican because in legend it feeds its young with its own blood saving them from death. The pelican in this regard is a symbol of Jesus feeding us with His own blood in the Eucharist.
We begin on the birthday of the greatest human person: Blessed Mother. We embrace this new-born child and crown her as our Queen.
Our beginnings are humble. Our convention is being held in a walk-in closet where our laptop sits atop a stack of empty boxes before which our entire membership kneels. Our membership is small, but any one of you could cause our number to double.
We will be efficient. The convention of the United States’ branch of TBPI will be even shorter than a hurricane reduced gathering – it will last only so long as this posting is written, but our celebration will encompass the entirety of today, Blessed Mother’s Birthday.
OK, imagine I am now approaching a dais for our inaugural address.
Mr. Chairman, member of the Birthday Party, I do not accept my own nomination as candidate for President of these United States. (wild applause)
There are many reasons I must decline, but let me give just one. Being single, if elected, there would be no First Lady. This could mean that our children lacking this maternal role model would prefer chocolate fudge sundaes to hummus and whole wheat crackers and quickly grow obese. I cannot put our children at risk in this manner.
But with no one else to turn to to represent our Party, let me proceed as if I were running.
Call me stupid, but foremost in my mind is not the economy. Call me naïve, but I think we as a nation should put our trust in Divine Providence – He Who created the world in six days can create jobs even faster. I am not trying to downplay the importance of work even though I am now starting my sixth year of unemployment, but if one awakens to his house on fire, he doesn’t first consider how to save the silverware and the cat, he immediately thinks of the safety of the members of his family.
Our house is on fire. Worldwide we murder 3500 preborn brothers and sisters each day; we also are more quietly putting to death many of our old and feeble and calling it merciful; we pretend to educate our young in tax funded schools that destroy minds by teaching a relativism that belittles those who stand for truth; we consume and consume and want more and more while ignoring the truly poor and desperate; we cannot even figure out who can marry whom or what violates one’s religious liberties. Our house is on fire and we are worried about the cat.
Since our nation and our world now proceeds as if we lack reason, floundering in a dense fog of smoke, let us quit worrying about felines and instead stop and consider how to save our family members before we all succumb to the fire.
Let us take as our goal to have the natural law recognized and followed in all our undertakings. We begin with the recognition of the sanctity of human life and the truth about marriage and procreation; we make natural law tenets the cornerstone of our educational institutions; we look into our own hearts to see what comforts we can sacrifice to help those who are desperate for help and truly look to reform those who do not respect the laws of civility. We do not turn in upon ourselves, but we seek to empty ourselves so that the love of the One Who created us can fill us with the joy that comes with knowing we are loved and tended to by the Almighty.
If we put out the fire, we can then rebuild, clean up and restore what we have lost. Then our family will exist within a home, a neighborhood, a community, a state, a nation and a world that knows freedom and true prosperity.
Jezu, ufam Tobie.